For most men, opportunities to be with
other men center around sports, work, drinking, or military
service. The idea of an unaffiliated men's organization
is unusual and sometimes hard to describe. Here are several
of the members' interpretations of what the Nation of Men
means to them.
What is the Nation
of Men?
We often find the Nation of Men a bit hard to describe, largely
because it is different things to different people. That's
why we invite you to experience the Nation of Men by attending
meetings and activities. There is no substitute for getting
to know the men!
Some of the Things We Are Not
We are not a religious organization, although many of our
members are religious. We are not a political or men's rights
organization, although many of our members participate in
these activities. We are not a gay organization, though some
of our members may be gay. We are not feminized, politically
correct men, though our members exhibit varying degrees of
civilization.
Men and teams
Most of the members are on teams. Although this is not
a requirement, teams are our primary means for supporting
individual men and we place strong emphasis on teams. We
find that men are pack animals and operate far more effectively
in their lives when they are part of a team. Teams typically
have 5-8 members and meet weekly. Several of our teams have
been together for more than five years and one team has
been meeting for over ten years. For the most part, the
team's purpose is to support men to be their best, on their
own terms. Team members assist one another and help each
other meet their goals. Members enjoy the camaraderie of
their teammates and often participate in team and Nation
activities together. Teams are as varied as are the personalities
of the men on them--some teams are more spiritual than others,
some are oriented toward activity, some are growth-oriented,
etc.
If you decide to become a member, you will be provided
with an opportunity to join a team. You can join an existing
team or gather with other new members to form a brand new
team.
A Team of Teams
Just as men benefit from being on teams, we find that teams
benefit from involvement in a "team of teams" and they find
this in the Nation of Men. We have many activities designed
to give individuals and teams a chance to play and work together.
Teams operate autonomously — the Nation does not seek
to govern teams.
Community
We have participated in projects for Habitat for Humanity,
Family Giving Tree, Second Harvest, and Christmas in April.
We planted two acres of wildflowers alongside Highway 85
in Cupertino. We created a playground and yard for the Emergency
Housing Consortium. We have fed and clothed the homeless,
given blood, and built new school facilities for the village
of Pescadero.
Activities
Activities are optional and generally all men are invited
(although some are for members only). Some events also include
women and families. The activities are as varied as the
men because our activities are sponsored by teams but they
usually ccombine fun and growth and feature competition,
construction, and camaraderie.
Traditionally, the South Bay Nation of Men has sponsored
an annual gathering in the fall. Another event, usually
in the spring, is held along with other Nation of Men chapters.
The content of these events change each year but they're
usually at an area campsite and feature some combination
of games, camaraderie, and growth.
In addition to the regular events, monthly meetings, and
community service events, we have many other activities
that help us reach out to other men, other men's organizations,
and to women, our families, and the community. We have held
picnics, dances, and parties. We had a survival training
event at Mt. Shasta. We held a Color of Fear workshop in
which we explored our relationship with race and diversity.
We have held initiation events for men and boys. We held
a money workshop which gave men the opportunity to look
at their financial health. Some of the men visited the Grand
Canyon in a trip that combined small and large planes, rubber
rafts, speed boats, helicopters, horseback, and a bus across
Hoover Dam. We held a combination race in which cars built
by men's teams raced across bogs and logs. We have played
laser tag, and climbed rocks.
What You Can Expect From the Nation of
Men
Men and boys are encouraged to attend our monthly meetings.
The time and place are listed in the Events
section of this web site. We encourage visitors to get to
know the men and ask if you can attend a team meeting or
two. This is really the best way to get to know the men
and the organization.
For More Information
Your best source of information is the man who first exposed
you to the Nation of Men. However, members are always glad
to talk about the organization and what it means to them.
Contact us to talk to the members
of our chief's council.
You are invited to learn all you can and experience as
much of the organization as you can. We are quite proud
of our community and what it has done for us and for those
around us. We look forward to getting to know you.
Who We Are
by John Renish
Past member; article used with John's permission.
We are one of many similar men's groups in North America.
... We are organized into autonomous teams of about 5-10
men, each with its own traditions and polity. The word "team"
is intentional because teams have leaders.
We are not a group of sensitive men in the feminist tradition
and maintain a certain hierarchy of authority — no
consensus decisions for us. We do, however, elect NoM
leaders democratically and have a rough equivalent to
a parliamentary vote of confidence. The Nation of Men
(NoM) is a "team of teams" that offers us camaraderie
and "support." In addition, it gives us a large enough
body to facilitate certain desirable activities, such
as community service projects and impromptu football games.
For the most part, the team's purpose is
to support men to be their best on their own terms. To that
end, we practice tough love or "ruthless compassion" (admittedly
an oxymoron). We have developed a vocabulary for our "technology"
for achieving our purpose; I have put quotation marks on
some of the terms we use.
One of the things that characterizes us,
setting us apart from the bulk of American men, is that
we are unabashedly male. We do not subscribe to the politically
correct idea that men are the problem and in fact believe
that conscious men are the solution. We often engage in
traditional manly behavior, such as belching, farting, swearing,
and cigar smoking (even cigarettes have fallen out of public
favor in California these days) because it affirms to us
that we are fine just as we are and that knowing and acting
on that knowledge is our right and obligation as men. Are
we pigs? You bet! Are we also dedicated and romantic lovers?
Yup. Are we fathers? Sons? Peacemakers? Warriors? Sages?
Buffoons? Tricksters? Guilty. We strive to be whole men,
with all the contradictions that implies.
My comments do not mean we are merely a reaction
to other social movements. We perform soul-to-soul resuscitation
for men's spirits, rather than midnight raids on the National
Organization for Women. Having said all this, I caution
you to remember this article is only one man's perspective.
I sincerely hope you receive a kaleidescope of opinion because
it exists and it all has relevance for men who respect their
manhood.
Finally, we sometimes upbraid one another
for "significance" when the discussion just gets too weighty.
If I have been too heavy, mea culpa...*belch*.
A Meeting of the Nation of Men:
One Man's Experience
by John Grounds
I get together with a group of guys the first Saturday
of every month at 8:00 am at Bramhall Park in San Jose,
rain or shine.
The purpose of the group, the Nation of Men, is to
honor men, teams, and community. About 60 of the approximately
100 members usually show up at the meeting. It is a
group of men from all walks of life, who share the commonality
of being a man, faced with the challenges of being alive
— challenges like relationship, fatherhood, divorce,
drugs, career, women, racial issues, money, homosexuality,
jail, the I.R.S., etc.
It is not a discussion or support group. It's more
like hanging with about 60 brothers for an hour and
a half. There is no doctrine, no agenda, no political
bias, no cult mentality. It gives us a much-needed break
from our women, a breather from being a warrior out
in the world. There are jokes, gifted inspiration, Three
Stooges mentality, incredibly beautiful spiritual flights.
The time spent is usually hilarious, often moving. It's
just a circle of men dealing with whatever comes up,
in a loosely scheduled format.
The group is made up of smaller teams of typically
6-8 men. One of the teams serves breakfast at the end
of the meeting.
Teams often prepare some spiritual ritual, or a game,
in the manner of a tribe at play. When the Mayans played
their ball game, it was played for life or death. Although
this is not so intense, there is an edge. You may have
your spiritual life at stake, your brotherhood life
at stake.The decision not to play for any reason is
honored, respected, and accepted. There is honor in
saying what you will do, and what you will not do.
Accountability is respected. Sheep mentality is not.
There is a circle, with a Truth Stick passed around.
If you wish to speak, you take the Stick, and you pass
it when you have had your say. If you do not wish to
speak, that is also honored.
I have done this for eight years now. I am still a
work in progress, but I have grown with these brothers,
grown into dealing with my alcohol dependency, my addiction
to money and material things, and my fight for mastering
my territory. I have also found the appropriate avenues
elsewhere to deal with such issues after getting a good
look at them in this circle. All in the right time,
when I am ready to see the truth and own up to it, strong
enough to take it on. I have listened to men, wise men,
recount their experiences and I have learned from them.
I have given to them.
This is not for everyone. Not everyone wants to improve
or examine their lives and get their shit picked at
or have their comfortable illusions shaken. Everyone
wants the feeling of kinship and acceptance, but few
may be willing to ask for it. I am not suggesting this
gathering to you because you are beyond help and wear
a pinwheel hat and roller skates. This is not a trick
to get you into the group or to extract money from your
wallet or indoctrinate you. I'm just putting it out
to you.
This is something that is missing in America. There
are no cultural rights of passage, no tribal gatherings
for men here. As a kid, I played for endless days as
a warrior in Redwood Regional Park in Oakland. I was
in touch with the spiritual and I shared the warrior
spirit with my gang and we tarzanned across the creeks
and all over hell. I lost that ritual space growing
up. I have never, ever lost the spiritual in me, it
sings to me all the time, but at some point, I was drawn
further and further into shirt and tie society and I
put my spirit deep into a cell alone. This is letting
the spirit and passion break free with your brothers.
Opportunity Knocks
by Ken Krantz
I believe that all men are connected, in their hearts and
in their souls, to one another. When they have the opportunity
to experience this, and to truly experience themselves as
men among other men, they become closer to becoming the "man
they always wanted to be."
NoM gives men this opportunity to experience themselves
as men among men — as men on teams, in a community
that supports them. It gives men the opportunity to experience
the strength, wisdom, compassion, spirit, and joyfulness
of men connected to one another. I have only to look back
on the last few events I attended in the company of the
men of NoM to get a personal reminder of what NoM can be
for the men who join and participate in it. I ask you to
look at NoM membership as a great opportunity for your men
friends and relatives, and also to look at these men as
opportunities for your team and for our community.
Also: See History,
Before the Nation of Men
Men in the area are invited to attend a
meeting and learn more. At our monthly meetings, youll
meet many interesting men, have loads of fun, and very
likely learn something about yourself and others.
South Bay Nation of Men meetings are held on the first
Saturday of each month. Details
and map...
Contact us
for information on meetings of the other chapters.
