Tatonka
SBNoMSBNoMThe little boy's memory of that May day is very precise. The sky was a beautiful pastel blue with large white clouds slowly dancing across the sky while the warm sun beamed golden shafts of light all around. While standing in the window of his bedroom, his view of the German countryside was pastoral, perhaps worthy of a picture postcard.
His was a typical
military family, serving overseas quietly while living in base housing. The
apartment building was somewhat isolated from the local populace but the lad
traveled off base often enough to savor the feel and essence of the culture.
Alien sights and smells assailed the senses.
The little boy was distracted by the beauty of the day. He looked downward and judged the distance from the ledge to the subbasement where access was granted to the rear of the large five story apartment complex. It was with regret that the boy realized that the second floor was not high enough to accomplish his deed, for even though the subbasement added another ten feet, a fall at this level would only result in a broken leg, not death.
He has just been beaten again. Why father used a military web belt and why he was so angry, he has no memory after all these years. He remembers the shame of being in his room; being beaten during a family friend's visit. He remembers that the distance between his room and their location is very short. He does NOT cry. He endures the blows, which are frequent, painful and shameful.
That eleven-year-old boy chose life that day as he turned away from the window and laid face down on his bed. There would be many more beatings and, just as painful, humiliations verbally inflicted upon the youth.
This incident became a metaphor for my life. I chose life that day because I did not live on the third floor. I often think of the differences my death would have made that day: of all the people I would not have met, the children I would not have sired, of all the men I would not have helped and ultimately, the loss of the love of the woman who has now made life very precious to me. I now choose life every day because it is sweet. I no longer stand in the window.
Return to Current Selection Page
 |