Before NoM — A Prehistory
Ed Collins, More Power

The men who founded the Nation of Men did not start from scratch — we have a rich heritage that stretches back to a time before NoM's creation in January of 1991.This story chronicles the 'Pre-NOM' era along with the key events and our early male leaders (now commonly referred to as 'elders').

The founders of NOM were all originally members of the "Men's Division" of the Sterling Institute of Relationship, founded by A. Justin Sterling. (See the Links page for links to the Sterling Institute and Men's Division International). Justin created, and still leads, powerful men-only and women-only weekend workshops called the "Men's Weekend" and the "Women's Weekend." (Many old-timers benevolently remember the original names: "Men, Sex & Power" and "Women, Sex & Power.")

Justin's workshops spawned pockets of graduates around the country in the early 1980s. The graduates were invited to join a men's or women's team (typically 5-10 members) which formed the foundation of the Sterling communities. By late 1983, there were over 100 graduates on teams in the San Jose area but there was not much contact between them. The only organized way of participating in Sterling programs was to volunteer at the Sterling Institute in Oakland.

Justin's West Coast staff person, Diane Hertzberg, was the primary person in communication with individuals who had interest in Sterling activities in the South San Francisco Bay area. She was masterful at creating Sterling communities, having already helped formed North Bay and East Bay communities. The San Jose area was viewed as a sleeping giant. Volunteers in the Sterling Institute liked to call it "South Bay - Some Day."

With Diane's support, Mark Goldsborough hosted a meeting at his house to talk about forming a South Bay community. There were about 10 men and women in attendance. They decided to write down their vision of the community but there were no flip charts or note pads at hand. Mark was remodeling his house at the time so, he just grabbed a felt pen and started taking notes on the wall. (Mark has always been creative in this way).

They organized a gathering called the Focus event, a big picnic in Los Gatos attended by 136 local graduates and friends. This was the coming-out party for the South Bay Community. It served as notice to the Sterling Institute that the South Bay was ready to be recognized as a Sterling community.

Not surprisingly, Mark became the South Bay's first male leader. He filled this role for a year, the standard term of office. For the first half of his term Julie Grant and Sally Henning led the women activities and in the second half, Tina Torres and Gerri Burke did.

Mark always demonstrated strong male qualities in meetings. This was very important since there were many more women then men showing up at meetings. Mark's strong male character ensured that the community was not a strictly feminized version.

Meetings during this period were small, intimate, and full of discovery. We were generally young (25 - 35 years old) and mostly single. The women were looking for relationships and a community of people who shared their ideals. As a man, it was alluring being around these Sterling woman. They seemed to be unusually beautiful and treated the men as if they were god's gift to women. The men couldn't help but want to make them feel safe and happy in response. Time could always be found to help a Sterling women in need.

Brad Dewan took over as the male leader in 1985. There were no female leaders during his term but, there were several strong supportive women and in general, the women were still more active than the men. Brad was an ardent supporter of Justin and his work. He implemented Sterling's management structure in which local graduates could participate.

Lee Wheeler was his Community Support Team Manager (CSTM). His task was to support the men's teams in utilizing Sterling technology and in enrolling new men into the Men's Weekend.

It was during this year that the South Bay first became active in community projects. Justin encouraged men to do projects to benefit the community but, we were only doing it at the individual or team level. Rich Watkins helped changed that. He was a man already active with social services in the area. He initialized our first multi-team community service project where we painted the hallways and rooms of a local homeless shelter. The fun and relationship created in this simple project set the stage for several large complex projects (mostly at homeless shelters) over the following 3 or 4 years.

Peggy Goldsborough made the suggestion that Sterling promote a day when graduates across the country perform community service projects. This led to the creation of the International Community Service Day (ICSD) by the Sterling Institute. The South Bay's first ICSD project was at the same homeless shelter as before (Santa Clara Housing Consortium at Agnews State Hospital). Project managers spent over 6 weeks organizing it so others could just show up and contribute. We did some painting and landscaping but our crowning jewel was a all wood jungle-gym playground.

Over 250 people participated on the project. We had augers and chainsaws, sledge hammers and saws-alls. We didn't know how to use them all but, man did we love the noise! While some women worked side by side with the men, many others provided refreshments, shoulder rubs and encouragement. To say this was appreciated would be a major understatement. After we were done, BBQ chicken dinner was served by project chef Ray Torres. We were tired, proud and ready to take on the world.

There was a major forest fire in the Santa Cruz Mountains that summer and local officials were concerned about soil erosion. The Bushido Spreaders were a brand new team out of the Men's Weekend, full of testosterone and looking for a way to be involved in the community. Bill Burton (who would later be NoM's co-founder), with the support of his men's team, organized a project to plant 1000 trees on the burned mountainside, in a project called "Mud Busters." Many men and women participated and it was a resounding success.

This project was not organized with the Sterling Institute's sanction so Bill and his team took some heat for it. This caught many men in the community by surprise. The men learned that we were in a Sterling community and that we were not going to be given total freedom in running it.

One of the traditions formed under Brad was the welcoming of new graduates into the community. The newest men graduates would put together a welcoming pageant for the brand new women graduates (and vice versa). This would happen at about every third monthly meeting. Each welcoming became more elaborate than the one before.

Since the new graduates were mostly friends and family we enrolled into the Sterling Weekends, it was very personal for us all. There was a sense that our family was growing and their was no limit. At the end of Brad's term, he held the first annual outdoor overnight meeting of the men, called Primal Night, to select his replacement. The setting was in the mountains at an old sacred Indian site. The meeting was held under the oath of confidentiality so I cannot speak of the content but, I can say it was among the most powerful nights of my life. It was at this meeting where I was selected as the new male leader of the South Bay. The men present that night made a solemn pledge to ensure my success and they never let me down.

I knew that the Ed Collins who stood there could not be counted on to fulfill his end of the bargain so, I had to leave him behind on the mountain and a new man emerged. From that moment until my completion a year later, I had no question of my purpose. Everything I did was for Justin, the Weekends, and the South Bay Community. It was a totally freeing experience. I received support from many men and women that year, too many to mention them all.

The women leadership alternated between Anne Trainer (now married to Bill Friend), Marsha Ferguson, Penny, and Beth. Lee Wheeler continued as my CSTM. We were growing so quickly that his job became too much for one man and he founded the Heroes Team to help him. He enrolled several men to be the primary contacts with the men's teams of the South Bay. They were the front-line men who kept the teams inspired and focused on Justin's work, shared team technology and passed on internal messages.

The heroes had a mixed relationship with the Sterling Institute. They were more focused on local issues within the community which did not always match with the Institute's priorities. They were disbanded three times over the next four years but the South Bay men felt so strongly about the program, it kept resurfacing. Lee Wheeler passed the torch to Dolph Meyerson who continued to refine the position.

I had several other men support me but I would be negligent if I did not mention all the words of wisdom I received from Bill McConnell. Bill is the senior elder of our community and has a lifelong history of supprting people throughout the world. He was always inspiring and fully supportive of me and the community.

John Matteson was my community service projects leader. He took our projects to a completely new level. That winter we built another playground at another homeless shelter and painted a men's shelter. In the summer of '86 we took on a major cleanup project at the Center for Employment Training (CET). CET is a San Jose based vocational training school for mostly migrant farm workers. Over 600 people volunteered in the project. We painted graffiti, did landscaping, cleaned windows, poured concrete, and more.

David Whitmore introduced project management technology to coordinate all aspects of the project. This knowledge was passed on to later ICSD projects.

The South Bay's ego swelled to an all new high. We knew how to do community service projects in a grand scale. The women were getting the community they asked for and they were making sure the men felt like heroes. The community also knew how to have a fun time. That summer we rented 3 house boats on the Sacramento Delta for a weekend. I'll be brief in saying it was wild! We held several Sterling "open house" enrollment meetings that were followed by dances. We also used the CET auditorium to throw a grand Renaissance costume party fund raiser for our projects. Knights and busting bosoms were everywhere!

The South Bay was quickly creating a fun and cocky attitude. Monthly community meetings were a celebration of bravado and relationships. The men were strutting their stuff and the women were encouraging it. Relationships were forming on almost a daily basis, many destined for marriage.

One of my favorite legacies is the introduction of team names. Until this time, there were only a couple of teams with names. I put emphasis on all teams having names and a team cheer. This was to promote a positive ego/identity and friendly competition amongst the teams. Since there were many egomaniacs joining our family at the time, this was an easy task. Some of the most visible teams of the time were: Nova, Bushido Spreaders (later called Men at Play), Samurai Stallions (who later became Phoenix), Jerks Out of Hand, Task Force 1, BUF, Raving Maniacs, Gunima, Vahoosh, Quiet Riot, Raging Balls, Nad,s and Tatonka.

In the spring of 1987, I passed the mantle to three men; Lee Wheeler, Steve Gibson and John Kimura. This was a dynamic test of leadership. All three had different talents but equal authority. They also had the job of implementing an entirely new concept called "The Men's Division."

The South Bay men had now become very successful and strong. To some extent, we were taking over the community from the women (even though we always tried to give it back). The Sterling Institute viewed us as becoming feminized and that we needed to separate the men from the women for a while. The Men's Division was formed to set participation standards for all Sterling men's teams across the country.

The South Bay men had mixed feelings about this. We wanted more time by ourselves but, we didn't want to sacrifice the community experience. We did not know at the time that we would never get back to our old combined community.

This was still a time of substantial growth for the men. Many new teams were upstaging the older ones. Just as we thought we had it together and could rest on our laurels, they would come in and kick our butts.

We continued doing large community projects. We were getting into heavier construction when we took on remodeling a auditorium for the West Valley YMCA but it was nothing compared to building a two-story classroom building inside of a large warehouse for a homeless shelter called Concern For The Poor. This took several weeks and a lot of labor of love. These classrooms were for the children in the shelter. Their parents were then free to participate in vocational training or to go job hunting.

Tom Antolin and Steve Crowe were our next leaders. They were called Master Blaster after the Mad Max Thunderdome movie. Steve was the Master with the brains, Tom was the Blaster. Tom was short in stature but, he was extremely strong physically and in presence. During their reign, we experimented with the concept of "Tribes." We were getting too many teams to keep focused so tribes were created as a subdivision with their own leadership. Typically a tribe had 4-6 teams.

We did two projects that year. One was for two halfway houses of autistic teenagers called the Spark House. We did remodeling, landscaping, plumbing and painting. We were lucky that the Dustin Hoffman movie "Rain Man" won an Academy Award just before the project, which helped us promote our effort.

Our other project was at the McKinley School. There was great support from the McKinley staff and parents. It was an ideal project in the fact that it wasn't just Sterling Graduates doing their thing. It was full of local community involvement.

Ed Sustrick was our final Sterling leader. He had led the Heroes Team and was a tribe leader before that. It was a trying time. Many of the men and teams were feeling that the Institute was out of touch with the men and resented the tops-down management style. In December of 1990, it came to a head. Peter Rosomoff (Justin's staff in charge of the Men's Divisions) called a special "attendance required" meeting in the South Bay. In the meeting, the men were told they had to be a part of the Institute's program or leave. Choosing the program also meant that the current teams would be disbanded and reformed to allow for new interactions.

This was a very personal and hard decision for all of the men. Many men had their identity tied to their team while Peter was asking them to identify themselves as the Division. Several men felt they had no choice but to walk. This meeting became known by NoM men as "Bloody Sunday." Men and their teams found themselves divided, physically and spiritually. Many felt a loss of trust and pain in their hearts.

After a few weeks, Bill Burton and John Peterson invited the elders who had left the Men's Division to Bill's house. It was time to stop crying and to organize a new men's organization. That night, over a pool table, drinking fine port and smoking cigars, we agreed to form the Nation of Men.

The story of the Nation of Men evolves from that night but, we will always share a common heritage with the Sterling Men's Division.